Rewriting a sentence to be more grammatically clear
I'm proofreading/editing a museum catalogue and I could use some help.
I found this sentence idiomatic;
"Around the beginning of the fourth century, extremely long chamber tombs emerged, a clear differentiation from the tombs of the surrounding regions."
The reason being that the part after the comma is made only with nouns.
So I rewrote it;
"A tomb that was distinct from the other tombs in the surrounding regions was found, having an exceptionally long chamber. It is estimated to be from the beginning of the fourth century."
My question is:
1. Is my assumption that the original sentence is not grammatically correct right?
- Did I make it easier to read/understand rewriting it?
Thank you in advance.
Appreciatively,
Yeseul Shin
grammar word-choice
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
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Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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I'm proofreading/editing a museum catalogue and I could use some help.
I found this sentence idiomatic;
"Around the beginning of the fourth century, extremely long chamber tombs emerged, a clear differentiation from the tombs of the surrounding regions."
The reason being that the part after the comma is made only with nouns.
So I rewrote it;
"A tomb that was distinct from the other tombs in the surrounding regions was found, having an exceptionally long chamber. It is estimated to be from the beginning of the fourth century."
My question is:
1. Is my assumption that the original sentence is not grammatically correct right?
- Did I make it easier to read/understand rewriting it?
Thank you in advance.
Appreciatively,
Yeseul Shin
grammar word-choice
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I'm proofreading/editing a museum catalogue and I could use some help.
I found this sentence idiomatic;
"Around the beginning of the fourth century, extremely long chamber tombs emerged, a clear differentiation from the tombs of the surrounding regions."
The reason being that the part after the comma is made only with nouns.
So I rewrote it;
"A tomb that was distinct from the other tombs in the surrounding regions was found, having an exceptionally long chamber. It is estimated to be from the beginning of the fourth century."
My question is:
1. Is my assumption that the original sentence is not grammatically correct right?
- Did I make it easier to read/understand rewriting it?
Thank you in advance.
Appreciatively,
Yeseul Shin
grammar word-choice
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I'm proofreading/editing a museum catalogue and I could use some help.
I found this sentence idiomatic;
"Around the beginning of the fourth century, extremely long chamber tombs emerged, a clear differentiation from the tombs of the surrounding regions."
The reason being that the part after the comma is made only with nouns.
So I rewrote it;
"A tomb that was distinct from the other tombs in the surrounding regions was found, having an exceptionally long chamber. It is estimated to be from the beginning of the fourth century."
My question is:
1. Is my assumption that the original sentence is not grammatically correct right?
- Did I make it easier to read/understand rewriting it?
Thank you in advance.
Appreciatively,
Yeseul Shin
grammar word-choice
grammar word-choice
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
asked 13 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
1
1
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
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