Revising a sentence to make it more clear
I'm making revisions on a book from an archaeological museum.
As I was reading through, this sentence stroke me as a bit odd and I need your help correcting it.
Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geomatric designs.
I'm not quite sure what the author meant by
as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery
with geometric designs.
Here's a revision I made:
"Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, so were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geometric designs."
My question is:
- Is the original sentence grammatically correct?
- Does my revision make sense?
Thank you in advance,
Appreciatively
Yeseul Shin
grammar
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
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Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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I'm making revisions on a book from an archaeological museum.
As I was reading through, this sentence stroke me as a bit odd and I need your help correcting it.
Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geomatric designs.
I'm not quite sure what the author meant by
as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery
with geometric designs.
Here's a revision I made:
"Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, so were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geometric designs."
My question is:
- Is the original sentence grammatically correct?
- Does my revision make sense?
Thank you in advance,
Appreciatively
Yeseul Shin
grammar
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I'm making revisions on a book from an archaeological museum.
As I was reading through, this sentence stroke me as a bit odd and I need your help correcting it.
Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geomatric designs.
I'm not quite sure what the author meant by
as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery
with geometric designs.
Here's a revision I made:
"Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, so were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geometric designs."
My question is:
- Is the original sentence grammatically correct?
- Does my revision make sense?
Thank you in advance,
Appreciatively
Yeseul Shin
grammar
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I'm making revisions on a book from an archaeological museum.
As I was reading through, this sentence stroke me as a bit odd and I need your help correcting it.
Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geomatric designs.
I'm not quite sure what the author meant by
as were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery
with geometric designs.
Here's a revision I made:
"Pottery shaped as horses, ducks, boats, wheels, horns, houses, and shoes were excavated from Silla burials, so were vessels with human and animal figurines attached and pottery with geometric designs."
My question is:
- Is the original sentence grammatically correct?
- Does my revision make sense?
Thank you in advance,
Appreciatively
Yeseul Shin
grammar
grammar
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 2 mins ago
Yeseul Shin
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
asked 8 mins ago
Yeseul ShinYeseul Shin
103
103
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Yeseul Shin is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
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