The final clause of this sentence throws the sound of this sentence off to me, but what are the grammatical...
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Here is the sentence that was constructed as a part of a vision statement. I KNOW in my bones it is off, but can't say why. I would love some insight!
Our goal is to establish the best sector as the major sector of the industry, that it deserves to be.
grammar
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
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add a comment |
Here is the sentence that was constructed as a part of a vision statement. I KNOW in my bones it is off, but can't say why. I would love some insight!
Our goal is to establish the best sector as the major sector of the industry, that it deserves to be.
grammar
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
3
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
2
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
Here is the sentence that was constructed as a part of a vision statement. I KNOW in my bones it is off, but can't say why. I would love some insight!
Our goal is to establish the best sector as the major sector of the industry, that it deserves to be.
grammar
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Here is the sentence that was constructed as a part of a vision statement. I KNOW in my bones it is off, but can't say why. I would love some insight!
Our goal is to establish the best sector as the major sector of the industry, that it deserves to be.
grammar
grammar
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
edited yesterday
Sven Yargs
115k20251508
115k20251508
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
asked 2 days ago
Lynne FettermanLynne Fetterman
1
1
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
3
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
2
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
1
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
3
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
2
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday
1
1
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
3
3
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
2
2
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
I have an idea as to why the end may seem off, but as was noted, the sentence as a whole does not make sense. I may be able to make better suggestions for revision with additional context.
Some possibilities:
Our goal is to establish our sector as the best in the industry, as it deserves to be
Our goal is ensure that the biggest sector in the industry is also the best sector in the industry
Our goal is to establish our sector as the major competitor in our industry that it deserves to be
Regarding the ending: the part after the comma is a dependent clause that is modifying an earlier part of your sentence.
Commas are only used with dependent clauses that are non-essential to the meaning of a sentence. Modifiers using "that" typically fall into this category.
Some examples:
- I want to be the best writer that I can be
- She saw walls that were 10 feet high
In contrast:
- The walls, which were 10 feet high, were rather imposing
- I want to win the writing award, which I know I deserve
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
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1 Answer
1
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1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
I have an idea as to why the end may seem off, but as was noted, the sentence as a whole does not make sense. I may be able to make better suggestions for revision with additional context.
Some possibilities:
Our goal is to establish our sector as the best in the industry, as it deserves to be
Our goal is ensure that the biggest sector in the industry is also the best sector in the industry
Our goal is to establish our sector as the major competitor in our industry that it deserves to be
Regarding the ending: the part after the comma is a dependent clause that is modifying an earlier part of your sentence.
Commas are only used with dependent clauses that are non-essential to the meaning of a sentence. Modifiers using "that" typically fall into this category.
Some examples:
- I want to be the best writer that I can be
- She saw walls that were 10 feet high
In contrast:
- The walls, which were 10 feet high, were rather imposing
- I want to win the writing award, which I know I deserve
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
I have an idea as to why the end may seem off, but as was noted, the sentence as a whole does not make sense. I may be able to make better suggestions for revision with additional context.
Some possibilities:
Our goal is to establish our sector as the best in the industry, as it deserves to be
Our goal is ensure that the biggest sector in the industry is also the best sector in the industry
Our goal is to establish our sector as the major competitor in our industry that it deserves to be
Regarding the ending: the part after the comma is a dependent clause that is modifying an earlier part of your sentence.
Commas are only used with dependent clauses that are non-essential to the meaning of a sentence. Modifiers using "that" typically fall into this category.
Some examples:
- I want to be the best writer that I can be
- She saw walls that were 10 feet high
In contrast:
- The walls, which were 10 feet high, were rather imposing
- I want to win the writing award, which I know I deserve
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
I have an idea as to why the end may seem off, but as was noted, the sentence as a whole does not make sense. I may be able to make better suggestions for revision with additional context.
Some possibilities:
Our goal is to establish our sector as the best in the industry, as it deserves to be
Our goal is ensure that the biggest sector in the industry is also the best sector in the industry
Our goal is to establish our sector as the major competitor in our industry that it deserves to be
Regarding the ending: the part after the comma is a dependent clause that is modifying an earlier part of your sentence.
Commas are only used with dependent clauses that are non-essential to the meaning of a sentence. Modifiers using "that" typically fall into this category.
Some examples:
- I want to be the best writer that I can be
- She saw walls that were 10 feet high
In contrast:
- The walls, which were 10 feet high, were rather imposing
- I want to win the writing award, which I know I deserve
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
I have an idea as to why the end may seem off, but as was noted, the sentence as a whole does not make sense. I may be able to make better suggestions for revision with additional context.
Some possibilities:
Our goal is to establish our sector as the best in the industry, as it deserves to be
Our goal is ensure that the biggest sector in the industry is also the best sector in the industry
Our goal is to establish our sector as the major competitor in our industry that it deserves to be
Regarding the ending: the part after the comma is a dependent clause that is modifying an earlier part of your sentence.
Commas are only used with dependent clauses that are non-essential to the meaning of a sentence. Modifiers using "that" typically fall into this category.
Some examples:
- I want to be the best writer that I can be
- She saw walls that were 10 feet high
In contrast:
- The walls, which were 10 feet high, were rather imposing
- I want to win the writing award, which I know I deserve
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
answered 2 days ago
AlannaRoseAlannaRose
85048
85048
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
Re: the 2nd possibility: I think you left out a to after is (by mistake). And I think the OP means that they want the best sector (the one that already is the best) to also be the major one, so vice versa of that, but I'm not sure.
– KannE
yesterday
add a comment |
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Lynne Fetterman is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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1
I think as it deserves to be (if that's what it means) or as it should be maybe.
– KannE
2 days ago
3
The whole thing doesn't make any sense. You simply don't realize that until you get to the end.
– Hot Licks
2 days ago
2
The best sector as the major sector is just strange. I can force it to make some kind of sense if I really try, but it shouldn't be phrased that way.
– Jason Bassford
yesterday
So, are you saying that a minor sector is the best sector right now, but you want that sector to become the major one (because it's better than the present major one, I assume)?
– KannE
yesterday