I was sleeping through Megillas Esther and suddently the Baal Koreh screamed the beginning of Esther 6:1 rousing me from my slumber:

בלילה ההוא נדדה שנת המלך ויאמר להביא את־ספר הזכרנות דברי הימים ויהיו נקראים לפני המלך

On that night, the years of Achashverosh wandered and he said to bring the book of chronicles and they should be read before the king.

I was still half asleep but I couldn't help but wonder:

What does it mean for years to wander?
Did Achashversoh give several years of his life to someone else? If yes, who?

If not where did those years wander off to? Are they still there?

Does this have anything to do with Achashverosh's inability to count 70 years?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Actually, נדדה שנת המלך means the King's teeth were chattering.

This is because he had become close with Haman, who was a descendant of Amalek, about whom it says (Devarim 25:18):

אשר קרך בדרך

who made you cold on the road

and therefore, the King had chattery teeth.

No, his years are gone and wandered. As is says in Sha’arei Teshuvah (4), the process of year wandering is used to atone for sins, so that one does not have to suffer through physical afflictions.

ואשר תדוד שנתו מעיניו יעלה במקום יסורין

He whose years wander from in front of his eyes, will rise up in place of physical afflictions.

However, sometimes one must experience both suffering and year wandering to achieve complete atonement. The most famous example being of Yaakov in Bereshes (31:40):

הָיִ֧יתִי בַיּ֛וֹם אֲכָלַ֥נִי חֹ֖רֶב וְקֶ֣רַח בַּלָּ֑יְלָה וַתִּדַּ֥ד שְׁנָתִ֖י מֵֽעֵינָֽי׃

Often, scorching heat ravaged me by day and frost by night; and my years wandered in front of my eyes.

His years wandered into a book used by Homer Simpson called The Wander Years: A guide to finding the Walking Dad.. The producer of The Simpsons used Achashverush's lost wandered years to explain how to locate cartoon characters' cartoon fathers who wander about aimlessly through the streets.

There's a parallel to these scenarios. Achashverush spent numerous years going to wine parties getting drunk to the point where he flew off the handle and would make stupid rash decisions that he couldn't recall doing. But, after the fact, it was too late to change them. (Typical example was getting rid of Vashti all because she didn't come to his booze party. He regretted his decision, afterwards.) Years and years of this boozey habit made all his years wander away, to the point where he was a wandering king with wandered years.

So, the book that was read to him that night was a preview of some of the ideas that would eventually be used in the Simpson book. Come to think of it, both Achashverush and Homer Simpson used the same motion when they woke up from their foolishness. They both slapped their heads and went Doooowww!!!